To be sovereign in the world, one of my deepest longings, is to be sovereign in my inner-queendom. This deep urge is often projected into the world as fighting for our rights (and rightly so) however if it is not accompanied by a deep inner inquiry of reclaiming sovereignty in the psyche, it won’t go beyond fighting and temporary triumphs. I am solemnly responsible of developing – growing, healing, studying, holding myself accountable and pulling the resources I need towards my center – myself as a queen in the inner realm so I can hold that presence in the world. I am not talking about an isolated, ego-enhancing “personal development” process to manifest one’s own wealth in a world that is both dying and being reborn. What I am pointing at is embodying the soul in the world so I can live up to my destiny that is in service of the whole, which may not look like what my conditioned mind imagines it to be.Read More
The mountain towered over my tired and recovering body. That imminent presence eclipsed my being in such a powerful way that I could only say “yes, I am here”.
Here I was in my favorite dress from India, having danced and about to dive into this deep, cold water. So I waited. I turned to pages of “Coming Home to Myself” for guidance and slowly it was revealed to me what the prayer was. What aspects of Self needed redemption and what life experience needed a visitation. I followed course. I did the prayer. And then I stood tall, in the shade of the mountain, and dove into the deep blue water for a new life. This is how it ends and how it begins. Over and over again, in infinite cycles…
The work is to understand why things and people are the way they are and meet the poverty and the suffering of the world, “the skill of your heart being broken on schedule and the schedule says now.” (Stephen Jenkinson) The work is to show up, bruised and disillusioned, and continue doing what needs to be done and to remember what needs to be remembered...We do not have the luxury to rise and ride on our "hope" addiction just to crash again with the next heartbreak when things continue to collapse and disintegrate right and left. It’s not about what I like or want, in fact it’s not about me at all. If I can stop taking it all so personal, I may yet see ways how to love this world and honor this human experience better...Read More
So when the enchanting mysteries are not there so visibly, palpably in the streets and neighborhoods I was raised, bereft of any sense of deep time or cosmology, how do I not wander into the mysteries of the world but rather stay put patiently to be revealed some kind of old magic of the place I come from? This is a question I am sitting with now. Here I am, in Iceland, learning about deep ancestry in a small village in Westfjords from a Canadian elder. Last night I was listening to singing of Hindu and Buddhist mantras in a health food store in Reykjavik - I thought to myself surely it doesn't get more absurd than that - and I was contemplating what kind of a crazy world we live in.Read More
When parents, grandparents or other people of older age and higher status are not able to offer the kind of guidance, unconditional space holding and compassion towards the young – and they are not able to because they have not received it themselves for whatever reason – there’s a deeper wounding and depression that descend on the whole community. The traditions and wisdoms, especially the ones that are transmitted orally and in circular, spiral ways of storytelling, rite of passages, rituals, dances, songs, poems do become orphans, like us, when they have no one to pass them on, when they have no place to land…
All stories can and will change. Sometimes it’s good to remember that WE DON'T KNOW.
Ultimately everything is part of the Great Mystery that we breathe in constantly. It is real surrender – even momentarily – to drop all stories, including and especially the stories that make up the core of our identity – and bow to the Great Mystery of not knowing. Sometimes it is necessary to say, “I don’t know what is right and what is wrong anymore” to clear the debris of everything known and learned.
Sometimes tasting and witnessing my own suffering is overwhelming; the inner demons vehemently avoided in light and inspired moments clamp down on me like nobody's business. But even in that bewildered state of utter confusion and despair, some other aspect of me which manages to escape from fully identifying with the suffering asks quietly: "Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?" This voice is a gentle helping hand directing my attention to what wants to be revealed as whole and sacred beyond the confinements of my ego-driven human drama.Read More
I am suddenly aware
of the field of love,
like the impeccable breath
that animates my being,
perpetual, suffusive, benevolent,
lifting me up and carrying me over
the steep mountains, self-inflicted suffering
and unforeseen heartbreaks.
All the trophies of the past that I bore proudly become a certain kind of weight and limitation that define who I was but not anymore who I am and could be. It’s like flying to the moon and as I get higher I need to drop ‘masses’ that fueled me but now they are empty structures holding me back. The question is ‘what is essential and carries life essence?’.
I don’t want to drag dead bodies around. It helps a tree to prune its old branches to bear new shoots…
one is at where one is. no more, no less in any given moment.
by imposing an expectation of a certain quality or state on another, one only perpetuates the inner-friction further.
what's needed is a moment of witnessing of the other and Self simultaneously. Often the good advise rises from the inner state of friction and intolerance of the witness or from taking things personally.
what if we each could own where we are at and be honest with that, rather than telling each other how to be or what to do.
setting ourselves and each other free by reclaiming our sweet truth.
change happens, change wants to happen and will happen.
and we either allow it, flow with it, support it or resist it, fight it, escape it - making everything so much more difficult for ourselves and each other. the great mystery opens up when one surrenders to this river, and deeply listens and feels into this movement. It wants to take us somewhere, not without a reason, and this place, this destination is only a new version of ourselves in time and space.
In every heart, there is a secret window that opens to the sweet mystery of Life.
Come, beloved, knock on my window so I can swing it wide open to feel your presence.
Your breath so fresh, so reviving, so seducing is your fragrance that all my flowers
want to open and surrender fully. Kiss me on my forehead, let your music fill my body and soul,
so that I know what this life is about, so I remember the ecstasy of being a human.
Come embrace me in your unknown, unpredictable ways,
press your heart hard onto mine, so I know I am alive in your love.
If I love the World, this life, wholeheartedly, fully, boldly,
with unequivocal commitment, with no hesitation, no holding back,
if I remain - unconditionally - in love, awestruck, innocent and faithful,
the Creation surely will find a way to love me back,
and it already does, with fragrant flowers, lush waters,
birdsong and pomegranates, the face and voice of the Beloved,
everyday mysteries and sunrise and coffee,
as much as I receive, as much as I can, as much as I allow,
the Beloved loves me in thousand ways.
"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves."
For millennia we waited to be seen, acknowledged, approved, given permission to, liberated by our mothers, fathers, lovers, teachers, law, religious authority, and God.
To be a sovereign being, one is not handed her authority and power by another; one realizes that the power and authority lie within and need to be reclaimed and owned fully, with the responsibility it entails.
And even though it is a global, political issue, the place of permission and liberation of Eros is rooted deeply within a woman and the real work is to meet and transmute the inner oppressor that we women internalized and free ourselves from fear and shame accumulated for thousands of year. Once the body is freed up from inner oppression and given permission to experience pleasure, the power and wisdom accessed would not only heal the woman but everything around her.Read More
Together we enter the Temple of Divine Love and Sacred Service and remember and activate our priestess nature. This is an active remembering of an ancient lineage which has been lying dormant in our DNA, in our collective memory. We need to gently remind ourselves and each other what we knew before the horrors and forgetfulness descended upon us. All that wisdom and power residing in our bones is waiting to be unleashed for the rebirth of humanity.Read More
Life is a swirling wholeness of infinite complex systems and cycles moving towards most benevolent outcome; so, one cannot predict nor plan for a paradigm shift, paradigm shift happens! The best we can do is to listen but listen very well, listen with the body and with the soul, to receive guidance from all Life (including one's inner-guidance), and participate in the unfolding of Creation's next magnificent plan as co-creators.Read More
We are creating the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible, together! Please support me continue learning and amplifying the healing and transformation of our beautiful world. It doesn't matter how much you give, I shall receive your gift with humility and gratitude. I give THANKS to Life and everyone who have been supporting me on this path in this life time...Read More
My personal resolution is that, as I cannot expect only the men to heal the wounded masculine, I cannot also demand that the men embody the healthy, mature masculine on their own. As a woman, I have personal work to do to reclaim an inner King - the mature and responsible masculine in service of life - and as a human collective we have work to do together to call back this magnificent energy back to its power.Read More