my body, my teacher

“The inseparable root systems of the [authentic movement] discipline are mystical practices, healing traditions, and dance. Portal to healing wounds of the heart, portal to direct experience of the numinous, the moving body invites an awakening - summoning the human soul toward a return, a reunion with the eternal.”

Janet Adler

“There is a possibility of releasing the generosity in your body into the world” she said. I looked at her flabbergasted, clearly aware of my eyes opening wider. The immediacy of the power of a statement shifting my story, my reality struck me right in that moment.  And I took that sentence into my body.
Or rather my body sucked it in.

Releasing the generosity in my body.
My body’s generosity.

Yes, my body is generous.

The bell rings and I close my eyes. I travel within and listen somewhere to an impulse. I move carefully, aware of the other bodies in the space. I am curious to what is unfolding, what greater consciousness wants to be seen and witnessed through our bodies and movements emerging out of our unconscious.

I am on the floor, feeling the ground holding me. Suddenly I turn around and lean back as another mover lean forward and we find ourselves in an immaculate embrace, our bodies intertwined in a perfect union. I am relaxed, trusting, supported: I am home. My body registers this, overwrites a distant memory of paralysis from an untamed touch, my body releases the grip of fear a little more.

My body needs to learn to trust – again – and my mind to be patient. There can be leaps with wings spread at times but more often the progress is subtle – so subtle that it is nearly invisible to the inattentive eye and certainly to an impatient mind. Yet over time boulders move, patterns shift, doors open and walls come down.

It takes unequivocal faith to swim through the despair and terror of certain experiences and to know that “I am loved and this darkness/challenge/trauma/wound is a gift and threshold into a more authentic me. It’s like closing your eyes and going within – into that fecund darkness in which you don’t know whether you’ll meet a wounded child, an ancient vision or a sulking demon. Yet whomever you meet on the path, like whatever happens in life, is only a messenger, guiding you towards your destination.

However to understand this intellectually is not enough to blow sufficient wind to our sails, neither our longing for ascending towards light will enable our wholesome perfection. There's another journey towards dark, the mysterious, sometimes scary, but fruitful and rewarding with countless treasures that needs to be taken, and this journey underworld is often through the body, the wise container of mysteries. The unconscious often reveals its secrets through the magnificent instrument called "body". This marvelous, miraculous entity - certainly more than flesh, bones and cells - is home to the Soul and our connection to the greater body which we came from: the Earth.

If we surrendered to earth’s intelligence we could root down ascendant, like trees. Our spiritual growth is meant to go in both directions, toward the fertile darkness and the glorious light, each of us having the opportunity to bridge earth and heaven—the underworld and the upperworld—through the trunks of our middleworld lives.
— Bill Plotkin

I have to thank to "Authentic Movement" and my teacher Marcia Plevin - which recently helped me shift some deep patterns around relationships, embedded in my psyche and body through conscious movement, witnessing and speaking.
Marcia, by naming the possibility of releasing the generosity in my body, invited my body to release the generosity. Incredible wisdom of conscious speaking - she managed to speak to my body rather than my mind and my body responded.

What if we whispered to our bodies like this and our bodies guided us towards wholeness?

Being seen, seeing oneself, seeing another, movers and witnesses move closer to their true nature because of the development of witness consciousness. With increasing trust in themselves and in the discipline, through this mysterious developmental but non-linear process of enduring commitment, individuals can journey from the experience of duality to unity consciousness.
— Janet Adler