on love and longing

I recently met someone. Someone older, someone very different from me. Someone who lives the kind of life I would aspire to. Someone who uses his hands as much as his intellect and heart to make his life. Someone who has definitely come into my life to teach me something. 

Upon meeting this person with a quirky charm in whose presence my heart would decidedly fling open and show up in its glorious vulnerability, I just followed the invitation I felt within towards this inexplicably alive encounter with another human being. Not bothering with the usual questions, judgments and - excuse my language – mindfuck around these kinds of situations, I allowed myself to be directly in the experience of wonder, gratitude and aliveness! When something extraordinary happens in my life, I hope to welcome it without suffocating this opening prematurely with my preconceived ideas and fears. I received this encounter as an invitation of the heart, as my heart center was most alive through our connection, and a gift of grace for stirring my heart so profoundly.

Love is unpredictable, elusive, transcendental. Meeting of two beloveds in space-time continuum can take many different forms. Feeling totally seen and present by an utmost stranger, swimming in an ocean of unknown together for a moment, talking quietly in a strangely crowded and loud space, eyes locked, soul-to-soul intimacy, those strange, magical moments of meeting another right at the edge of their realness is beyond wonder and a fine experience of connectedness.

I long for this experience of connectedness – when my soul, the most tender, vulnerable part of me comes out of its hiding place and delights in being seen, witnessed, communed with. Longing is the gift that swings the door of vulnerability wide open and fills my heart with grace, washes it clean.

I haven’t asked him what our encounter meant to him. To some degree it doesn’t matter so much. Regardless of his narrative, I am grateful to him for facilitating such a heart dance for me. As long as we meet in that sacred space, and hold the magic soul mirror to one another, I’ll keep welcoming and tending the bonding. 

My heart is a softer creature because of this encounter. Even momentarily, it transforms from being a tight bud to a full-blown flower, completely open and surrendered to Life. And I gratefully take that opportunity to be opened like this, and be an expression of the life force that animates Creation.