undone and remade

We are being constantly undone by the sheer beauty of the world and terror of losing everything we love and care for.

What a profound paradox to live and die with.

In every moment there is life to distract us from this bittersweet truth and perhaps most things we do in life is a desperate attempt to make peace with or console ourselves or numb ourselves from this inevitable drama of being a human, knowing deep in the heart of hearts one can never reconcile the immensity of this endeavor. 

What happens when the darkness descends and pulls one deep into the underbelly of a collective death wave? and the current is strong even though the world sits in silent stillness with its disarming beauty and reflects our irredeemable love and grief and horror back to us in full glory?

It is such a time and it engages my imagination, partly from fear of losing my sanity in the face of such horror and dismantling happening in the world right now. 

There is a possibility though, of being remade by the sheer force that we are undone by. It is that very presence that sits heavily on my chest and pushes me over the edge into the abyss which then also lifts me up to the heights of illumination and inspiration about my existence and meaning of being here now. The depths I allow myself to travel seem to be the springboard from which I lean and leap forward and onward. It is a wild, erotic dance, unlike any other. This touching, having a brush with God-presence, this intimacy with Life and Death, wholeness and emptiness, me and the Other.

I am being undone,
by Life, by this World, by being a human.

I am being remade,
by Love, by stories, by songs, by circles, by prayers, by my Soul...by your Presence, by us.