"We showed up and we are willing.
We are willing."
This is how it all begins:
by showing up,
and being willing to
do the work of
embracing all of Self
and to witness each other
do the same.
This is hard work. It's lifelong, ongoing, and requires 24/7 vigilance.
Who wants to put themselves through this kind of ..., what's the word, hmm, grind?
Apparently we are. Because we are here now and the drum of Anthropocene* is beating.
Louder and clearer every day.
Who is gathering around the fire?
One of the core wounds of humanity is the illusion of separation. In the epicenter of this story, for me, is the disconnection between men and women and the ongoing battle of the immature masculine and unconscious feminine as archetypal and transpersonal forces running through men and women.
For years, I've taken refuge on one side of the spectrum, glorifying the Feminine, therefore women and turning away from the Masculine, and therefore from the men with whom I associated this archetypal expression and patriarchy.
Indeed the Feminine, the nurturing, life-bearing Great Mother needs to be glorified and re-invited to her throne in our consciousness. And the beautiful women need to be seen, heard and acknowledged for who they really are, for the power and potential they embody, for the healing song they carry and for the gifts they are here to offer to the world.
And so do the men. The direct association of the men and masculine with patriarchy needs to stop which is a distorted belief that doesn't serve. What women and men manifest and play out comes from the deep well of our collective unconscious, from the primordial dance of the feminine and masculine through which we are continuously invited to develop our awareness about who we are, about our relationships and about the nature of reality. And definitely keep our stories updated along the way.
And this is not to diminish the violence and horror that millions of women experience every day but to remind ourselves that we - women and men - are all suffering from the same wound and we need each other to transcend this ongoing battle.
"A new awakening begins in us. We begin to understand that that, which happens here, cannot be solved at the personal level. We recognize that those whom we call the perpetrators and those we see as the victims are equally victims of the same continuing drama. And we begin to understand that we’re getting in touch with the pain of a very old trauma, which has continued to fan the flames of the war between the sexes. Healing here is only possible when you accept your loving. We now begin to see what we have done to the other in the belief that we were right."
I am a woman with privileges, so I've never felt like a victim because of being a woman: I made my own choices, my own mistakes, my own decisions in life and I was challenged by my family and community about following my own footsteps but not because I am a woman, because I went and still go after the "impossible, unrealistic, irrational, utopia."
Yet I did feel and still feel the fear of imminent danger of being a woman, in my body, I carry it in my cellular memory. At some point I became painfully aware of the wall I built around my heart - a wall of protection, judgment, blame, fear - and the disconnect I've been living with. I felt the loss of a vital aspect of myself and of such an essential element of life. This awareness flooded my being with compassion for myself and for the men, and it turned into a prayer that I've been carrying in my heart ever since.
Self-compassion comes with compassion for all. No one is excluded. If can have authentic compassion for myself, for this wicked, wise, confused, strong, vulnerable, fierce, needy, joyful, grieving human being, this gesture extends to all of life. And for me it extended toward the men whom I had come to see as the source of most of our problems in the world.
I feel strongly that women who come Home to themselves, connected with their Soul and authentic feminine power, held by a community of women - elders, sisters, friends -, clear on their boundaries, can play a crucial role in reinstating healthy, sacred relationships with their intimate partners, with men in their communities and in the world.
What if we women start calling men to their heart and soul (and this is not to say that men don’t hear that call but many are not able to due to conditioning and the burdens the current paradigm place on their shoulders), rather than blaming, shaming and punishing them, help them remember by witnessing them and by calling them by their real names, holding the highest vision for their authentic masculine presence. They need this and we need them. What if we women start voicing this to the world, to the men?
A call for the reunion, call for the communion and the Earth will hold us all...
How can I/we practice this?
I am talking about going beyond non-violence in attitude and language (which is already an amazing gift) and proactively calling the men into their power and service, not from a condescending place of hierarchy or superiority, but more like a humble invitation, like giving voice to the Earth's calling.
It can be a soft whisper or a sensuous song some time, it can be a thunderous roar another time.
A wild "yes" sometimes, a fierce "no" other times.
A spring rain to soothe. A blazing fire to purify.
As long as it is offered in radical honesty and authenticity, owning one's truth and keeping the Other as the reflection of holy.
"The North facet of the Self is what I call the Nurturing Generative Adult, the compassionate and competent aspect of our psyches fully capable of providing for the wellbeing of others and ourselves and of caring for the habitats that sustain us and for all species that collectively make up Earth’s web of life. This North facet of the Self is what enables us to empathically and courageously serve our human and more-than-human communities as leaders, teachers, parents, healers, builders, farmers, designers, scientists, and artisans. The Nurturing Generative Adult is at the core of archetypes such as the benevolent King or Queen, mature or spiritual Warrior, Mother, and Father."
There's work and healing to be done in women's circles and there's work and healing to be done in men's circles.
Then, there is a certain healing and transformation that can only happen in the alchemy of gifting each other our witnessing, attention, deep listening, compassionate presence.
I know that there is a completely intact, whole, mature place in each of us which can guide us in this journey. Our core wound of separation is waiting to be unpacked into the medicine it holds in its mystery. We can find our way there together.
I call to the women and men who in their hearts hear this Calling:
We can do this TOGETHER, with each other and for each other.
We can help each other wake up.
In service of Life.
May it be so...
I am a woman.
My name is joy,
my name is grace:
If you follow my gaze,
and be like a hollow bone,
you will find a holy place.
Then be still,
be so still that
you will meet the eternal spring
sweeping the valleys
of your old home.
*relating to or denoting the current geological age, viewed as the period during which human activity has been been the dominant influence on climate and the environment.
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